Spankings or Time Out?? 

Children can definitely be hard to handle at times. I have a 7 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. They both are a handful! My son has 10 words for every 2 I say and my daughter thinks she’s slicker than fish grease. Kids definitely aren’t want they use to be! They are wayyy more advanced mentally and sometimes too smart for their own good.
When I was younger I got popped in my mouth if my mom even thought I was about to get smart. I wasn’t allowed to ask “why” or say “no”. My kids don’t know those boundaries. They ask why, and expect me to explain myself!!! 

I’ve noticed that everyone will point out how “bad” someone else’s children are but in reality most kids now a days have some sort of behavioral problem. It may be acting up at school or home, lying, or just being extremely busy. One thing I think all good parents agree on is children need discipline. 
How do you discipline your kids? 
I have heard stories about people getting spanked with all sorts of things! Phone cords, belts, switches (tree branch), extension cords, shoes and the list goes on and on. I myself have only been spanked with a belt. Honestly, I wasn’t spanked that often. When I was a teenager my mother and I use to GO THROUGH IT!!!!!! I was smacked in my face and lips a few times for talking back. 

I was definitely brought up in the “spanking era”. I remember when parents would go up to the school and spank their child’s butt. Most people actually say that getting spankings made them the person they are today. 

Today’s children don’t get the same discipline. If a child goes to school and say they were spanked, child services is at their parents door that night! 

How do you feel about that? Should parents be punished for spanking their children? 

Now, there is a thin line between spanking and abuse. A child should not be beaten until they are bloody or have bruises. That is not ok and should be reported and handled accordingly.I am referring to normal belt or hand against butt spanking. 

I believe that children have less respect for adults and authority because they are not disciplined like we were. Some of these children talk to their parents and other adults with absolutely no respect. Some people’s solution to that is a good ole fashion ass whoppin! 

Let’s play devil’s advocate….we teach our children that it’s not ok to hit when angry right??!! We say if you get angry tell an adult, do not hit. But, it’s ok for us to get angry and hit our children? Maybe instead of using physical discipline we can talk to our children or place them in time out. But…does that work?? 
I’ve put my children in time out and they have went right back to doing the same thing I just told them not to do! 

I also think discipline should be based on the child. All children are different and react to punishment differently. What are your views and opinions?? 

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19 thoughts on “Spankings or Time Out?? 

  1. I was spanked as a child and I think if more parents did, kids might have more respect for them and others in authority. But, it has to be done in a calm manner, not out of anger or frustration. I don’t find timeouts effective.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, time outs do nothing at all for my kids. Some children have never had a spanking and they are the definition of disrespectful! I got spankings and real punishments, not you can’t play on the tablet for 1 hour punishments, more like you can go straight to your room after school for 2 weeks. I turned out to be a great women because of it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Depends on the child, I could look at my daughter only and reduce her to tears and disappointing me was a HUGE punishment in itself with her…my son…definitely got spanked and dish soap in his mouth along with the neighbor boy using the F word at me at age 4! Yep, think some kids understand spankings more than anything. Of course I don’t believe in beating them/abuse but a smack on the butt I think it warranted sometimes and dishsoap if they curse.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ooooh this is an issue close to my heart! Now I’m not a mother, but I’m a nanny so this is coming from like a half-way parent position? The kids I nanny need more discipline. They are basically super great kids! The first few months of this job I didn’t have any problems. But then the “nos” started happening, and the complete lack of listening, etc etc. But nothing is done. Time outs aren’t given, restrictions aren’t imposed. Sometimes I think the bad behaviour is actually being rewarded. And it’s not just with me, it with their parents as well.

    I grew up with spankings but found that time outs worked best for me. It definitely does depend on the personality of the child (as mentioned already). But it most definitely has to happen.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I was brought up with spanking. In a way, it did discipline me .. but on the other hand.. I ‘feared’ my parents. And I don’t think that’s a good thing because as the child gets older, they might not feel able to talk to you or open up about things due to how you used to react when they were a child.

    I genuinely believe that a child can be disciplined without spanking and beating. But this will have to start from a very young age. Therefore reward your child only when they deserve it. Don’t over pamper them. Teach them respect from a very young age so it’s embedded in them. Teach them the reality of life.. you only get what you put in.

    But I’m not a parents.. so my views may change once I become one lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. These are some really great points! As a mom I will say I have pampered my kids, and this is the reason for the lack of respect for me as their mom. They know that I’m soft and will give them the world if I could. Your views do change when you actually have kids but I hope yours stay the same because you have some great views

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I was spanked too, and if there is one thing i can tell you is that, the people i respected most then were the ones that never hit me. Though to them i might have acted a little disrespectful and all that, but to me it was me being respectfully me.
    Now, that doesn’t mean i didn’t respect the ones who corrected me by spanking but it was more of me ‘fearing’ them.
    It’s true that kids of nowadays are becoming something else and that they differ and needs the iron hand often, i still think we should do less of the spanking, do more talking and you know, more eye-communication(they ignore it most times though), i believe it would be better to leave spanking for extreme cases, such that when they see you do it, they’ll know they really crossed the line. Because if it’s spanking every now and then, they’ll get used to it and before you know it, it’ll no longer have an effect on them or it begins to affect them negatively, as the case may be.
    Whichever way, i also believe with proper understanding of the child (along with communications), we can have disciplined kids without abusing them.
    Love the post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This was such a great comment! Kids definitely need discipline but it’s very hard to figure out how to discipline, especially when you were raised getting spankings. I agree with kids getting used to spankings and at that point they have no effect on the child. I hated punishment when I was a child. I could take a spanking but punishment ugghhhh I hated it!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. If you discipline a child, make sure to explain it to him or her why she needs disciplinary action. It should be clear to your child that you discipline him or her because of love. And that you will not tolerate his or her wrongdoing. Communication is also needed before or after making disciplinary measures toward your kid.

    I hope I make sense hehe.



  7. this is a touchy subject!

    let me tell you my experience. as a child i was spanked a lot: with hands, and with shoes. at the same time, i was grounded. and yes that made the person i am today.

    just… not in a good way.

    i used to be a very extroverted girl: i would talk to anyone who cared to listen, i would do wild stuff and spend a lot of time outside the house.

    when all the angry began, the spanking, the mean words, the grounding… i started turning into a different person. i didn’t talk much, because that would mean i would say something wrong eventually. and get punished. i didn’t go out because, well i was used to be grounded and developed interest in home-things, like reading and writing and listening to music, and being alone with myself. that way, i wouldn’t be a disappointment to anyone else. and i stopped being wild, because that would mean i’d get into trouble.

    i became depressed and suicidal.

    now, i have a rebellious kid. like me. and i bet him sometimes, when i’m angry. and i always feel bad about it, and i always apologize to him and try to be better next time. less and less the beating happens. sometimes i yell, and i also feel bad and apologize. because i know that makes him feel inferior (like i did) or that something is wrong with him.

    i prefer to take a deep breath and talk to him. and explain him why he shouldn’t do something and what and how he can do instead. i ground him for a few minutes, just so he can think about what he has done.

    do you know what he does when he knows he did something wrong? he comes to me and hugs me and gives me kisses. and i hug him back and kiss him. i will never deny him love. we have so little love on this world.

    i hug and kiss him and say, next time try to do like this or like that.

    the changes are slow, sometimes it doesn’t seem like he changes at all. but i know that the answer is always love.

    yelling, spanking, etc will transform happy children into angry ones. love always bring the best in us. also, it’s helpful to show them the best way. children learn by imitation. so if i see my child having a bad behavior pattern i ask myself if i’m having it as well. and how i am expressing my own emotions, if i’m dong it in a healthy way. (most times i’m not!)

    i’m sorry for the long comment, i still have a lot to say so i’ll probably write about it in my blog. thanks for the inspiration. oh, and always go with your heart. he always knows best. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Please don’t apologize for the long response! Thanks for the long comments and feel free to always express yourself! I try not to spank my children, I would rather talk to them and figure out what’s wrong and work through it together

      Liked by 1 person

      1. me too, tonight i’ve been researching for other methods and i learned so much. even things i thought i was doing right, but actually aren’t. i’m planning to put all that knowledge into action and write about it too. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m 47 and was never spanked, but I grew up with a healthy fear of my parents and respected the rules, mostly. I have four children of my own and I will admit, they have been spanked maybe only once or twice, but never out of anger and that is an important point. As a teacher I will tell you the behavioral issues have always been there. Those issues are the reason why my own mother quit teaching early in her career. I remember bullying as a child, although it was rare and my mother will tell you even she was bullied by her larger students as the teacher. One shoved her against a wall once. However, I will agree that children are more aware and therefore more sassy/intelligent than we were. It’s the normal progression of our species and really we wouldn’t have it any other way. But the bullying…..that I wish we could end, in our increased intelligence/awareness of the world.

    Since we were raised in the spanked era, we grew up wanting to be “better” parents than our own. But the pendulum swung too far and those people forgot to be parents and instead tried to be a friend. It’s a little like a boss trying to be friends with their employees, its sounds great and who wouldn’t want a great boss like that, but ideally it’s never a good idea. For a boss needs to be a boss without the emotional conflicts of losing a friend. There are “friends” and then “friendly”, which is a big difference. We gave our children too much and expected others to raise them for us, like teachers who are the authority in our children’s lives. We the friend, teachers the parent.

    Time outs are good in theory and if used properly can be effective. But we put children in time out and expect that they are sitting there thinking about what they did wrong and how bad they feel about that. Trust me, they aren’t. Instead they are thinking about how long it is taking and the things they are missing or could be doing instead. Time outs are great to gain control of a child’s emotions. It gives them a moment to calm down and save face if in a group of children. But once calm, it’s time to talk about emotions and methods that would have worked better than the melt down they just had. A time to teacher children about emotions and what they mean. Modeling emotions and showing children respect for the emotions they have.


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