Should your spouse know about your financial assets?

Today I read a story about a Florida woman who was shot and killed in her home, hours after writing a post about her 6 figure salary. I don’t think she was bragging like some people do. She was sharing that she went from being homeless to a 6 figure salary within two years. She built her own business from the ground up and was very successful. She also posted another status a few weeks ago about life insurance. She was encouraging people to get life insurance, and went on to let her Facebook friends know that she just renewed her policy for the year. What caught my attention about the story was the fact that everyone was blaming her husband for the murder. There were comments stating that he had her killed for insurance money. Hours after his wife was murdered he was spotted in a strip club, which of course lead to more suspicion. This story is so heartbreaking because her child just turned a year old. My prayers go out to her family and her baby. 🙏🏽 This is just such a sad, sad story. 

This story lead me to ask the question…should your spouse know about your financial assets? 

Of course, when you are married, it’s very hard to keep finances private. I was taught that the your partner doesn’t need to know EVERYTHING about your finances. My father told me a long time ago to make sure I had an account that only I know about. When it comes to life insurance I would give my grandmother and mother a copy of my policy, my spouse would know that I have insurance, I would tell him that it’s only enough to cover my funeral expenses. But…..I’ve never been married. Im sure before marriage couples talk about finances right??!! I know when someone gets married their spouses debt becomes their debt. When bad debt is involved, knowing about your partners finances can beneficial. 

But……what if you have no debt, A1 credit and a large amount of money saved, should your spouse know? 
Marriage is suppose to be build around love, trust, honesty and loyalty. Unfortunately, some people lack all of the above. Greed causes people to kill for money and the “love” goes out the window. Should you trust your partner and tell them everything? Or protect yourself from the person you love and lay next to every night? Most people have no idea that their spouse wants to harm them, or even use them. Everyday, people get financially used by the person they love. It’s very important to protect yourself, privacy is a great form of protection. 

Comment Below 👇🏾

31 thoughts on “Should your spouse know about your financial assets?

  1. Telling a guy you get paid 3x his monthly salary every month wouldn’t please him at all because of the ideologies we grew up with – a guy should be the breadwinner of the family. I personally feel like we should tell our spouses despite how they might feel because even if we don’t, they would surely wish to know hence they’ll do whatever it takes to find out and that might not turn out so good. This is such a sad story though 💔

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    1. This story really broke my heart. I just wish that money didn’t matter so much. You work, I work and we have enough to live comfortably would be great, but life isn’t that simple. It’s so sad the things people will do for money, money comes and go’s!

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  2. A really sad story but unfortunately, something that I have read alot. I think it’s wise to have your own account and maybe even a prenup. Also, speak to an adviser about how better to protect yourself in case you ever break up.
    But in the grand scheme of things, these cases don’t happen to too many people. Me personally, the best way to protect myself, is to make sure that my partner is focused on his own career and not extremely materialistic. But even then…things can change right.
    This is a really great post. x

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  3. I think it’s important to be completely open and honest with your spouse about everything. If you’re hiding things from your spouse then you don’t have a foundation built on trust, which is unhealthy. Of course, there are exceptions. If you’re married to someone who’s abusive and controlling and you need to save up your own money to leave, that’s a different story. But if you value your marriage and want it to work, there should be no secrets.

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  4. Great article. The current trend of growing divorces suggests that we should probably prepare for every eventuality. And frnakly I don’t see anything wrong in saving up a little secretly, as lobg as you’re helping around with the other bills and expenses together. Sometimes those savings are not for your expenses but for some emergency that requires ALL your savings. Sometimes one partner is a spend thrift. So it’s better to save, but of course you shouldn’t be stingy in a relationship if the other isn’t.

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  5. If you are filing a joint return, share any sort of checking account, are beneficiaries, own property togetherand legally married each partner should know what the other is worth. First of all, marriage is a legal contract. If partner a runs up debt, guess who the debt collectors are coming after along with partner a. If you are that worried about mingling finances, then don’t get married or get an iron clad pre nup and don’t share any assets.

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  6. This is a tough one! I have very mixed thoughts and feelings. I think it is important to be “wise as a serpent and gentle as a lamb.” It is important to be honest in a relationship, but remember fair exchange is no robbery. If you share make sure he does as well. I am going to share something personal. When I was younger, I met someone and we decided to get married. I had failed relationships in the past;so of course, I wanted this one to succeed. I thought “we are getting married so be open about everything to include my finances. At the time I was a clinical supervisor in a juvenile facility; so I had a decent income. When I asked about his, there was always hesitation to fully disclose. After we married I became fully aware of his financial status and it was poor. When I asked why did he lie, he basically said, because I made more money that I could afford to take care of everything. Pray about everything, if you don’t feel right; than it probably isn’t right. Everything in me told me to wait and share this information, but everyone says, you have to be opened and share so I did. I believe a woman should have a bank account of her own and so can he. I believe that if your husband or mate is open with you about his finances; you too be opened. Again “fair exchange is no robbery.” There is no one sizes fit all; you know who you are with, let that determine what you do,

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  7. I asked myself first, would I like a full disclosure of his finances? I was having a discussion with a colleague one time who was telling of a certain lady who proceeded to building a house without the knowledge of her husband, through her funds which he knew nothing about. He later got to find out and there was a huge conflict in the house, as expected. My colleague went on to say he could never do that to his wife, as he makes her fully updated on his sources of income.

    Honestly, I’d wish to have a secret account for myself but for the sake of oneness and trust, I wouldn’t do it. I know i’d feel betrayed if I learn that my spouse has some cash other than the one I’m aware about

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  8. Great post. In my first marriage, it was completely separate. He knew how much I made and that was it. However, in my next marriage, my boyfriend and I have discussed doing the 80/20 rule with our finances. This means that 80% take-home goes to the joint account and 20% to our personal accounts to allow us to do whatever we want. What you have in your personal account is your business. But, I would say that before you get married you should have all your spouse’s financial history, credit report, last 5 tax returns, etc available. This is part of a financial conversation you need to have before getting engaged. I would never get married again without knowing my husband’s debt to income ratio and vice versa.

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      1. Yep. We need to go into a marriage being honest about everything. If you have a 529 credit score and mine is 801 then I would want to know how we can raise yours and not affect mine. Your credit should be equally yoked LOL. So, those are things you work on in the path to engagement. It just makes it easier for all involved. Yep, because I may want to buy him a really nice gift and I paid for it on my own and not a household gift.

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      1. Well, you’re asking questions that ask for yes/no answer (closed questions) – so it’s very easy to answer like that. 🙂
        If you were to ask ‘open’ questions in your titles, like ‘How much do you tell your spouse about your financial assets?’ then you’d get more detail. Having said that, you get many comments already, so you’re doing fine. 🙂
        Kindness – Robert.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I am married and really a happily married man for over 29 now. My wife and I, both are earning. We have joint accounts in bank, joint property, joint accounts everywhere and for everything. One is not marrying only seeing how much money the other partner earns.
    I don’t know why you didn’t marry, but if it is based on not getting person equal to your status, you are just wasting yourself.
    The above incidents are very rare and should be ignored. Otherwise being a police officer I have seen many types of crimes in and with the family members.

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    1. That’s great that you and your wife are doing well and able to share all of your assets. I haven’t married because I have yet to find love and a man that I would like to marry based off my own personal standards. I am also only 28 so I have plenty of time. It’s not so much a person “equaling” my financial status it’s more so about protecting myself from past situations that I’ve been in. Thanks for your comment!

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      1. Please, don’t it otherwise my comments. I am sorry, if I hurt you. I have seen a close family friend dying in an accident and his widow had to run from pillar to post to get the insurances, deposits from banks, share certificate transfer, etc. I had, therefore my own share of experiences where the things were not shared between the married partners. However, I will say, its(your message) an eye opener.

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      2. No, you didn’t hurt me at all, everyone has an opinion and my blog welcome’s everyone thoughts, opinions and advice. Feel free to always voice your honest thoughts on The Keep Up.

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