My closest and most honest friend called me to let me know that I was slacking. She is one of the only people that I told about created a blog. When I finally created my blog she was one of the first people to support it. If she says I’m slacking …….I’m slacking. With that being said, let’s get back to the basics.
ANGELINA VS. LIFE!
I have shared a few personal things about my life in my other posts. I told you that my children’s father left me with two children after 8 years. Seems sad right??…listen…. IT WAS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME!!! I am free of the stress and depression that was being caused by the unhealthy relationship I was in from age 19 to 27. My children go to their father’s house every Sunday, and I get the free time that I have always prayed for. Don’t get me wrong…..I love my children more than life itself…but….momma needed a break!!!!! I am finding myself as a woman!!!! I will never slack with being a mother, but I’ve learned that being a better Angelina will lead to being a better mother, daughter, sister, friend, and wife to my future husband.
At this point, I am struggling with getting my life back. I have already taken a few step towards the “new me”. I will be talking about these things this week in my upcoming post……STAY TUNED!!!!
My main concern at this time is my son Khalil who is seven years old. Khalil is having a very hard time with coping with the “break-up”. I have been taking him to a therapist every week and a psychiatrist once a month. He has also been placed on medication for anxiety and childhood depression. He also has anger and behavioral issues that affect his every day and school life. These problems were caused by his father and me arguing around him from pregnancy until now. I wish I had an easy fix, but I don’t. I feel a little helpless at this point. All he wants is for his parents to be together and happy but I am unable to give him want he wants. This is only the beginning and I know that in time things will get better for him. I make it my business to tell him every day that both of his parents love him and will always be here to support him through tough situations.
The Keep Up 
This post is so raw! I love and appreciate how brave you were to share your life with us! There is always someone out there in the world who is going through what you’re going through or who has been that and could be able to give some tips that helped them! It’s definitely not easy being a mom, mom of 2 or more and on top of still dealing with life and trying to maintain your sanity while sober!lol I’m kidding but seriously! Having time to yourself and being around other adults is definitely something all moms need! Sometimes I just want to be irresponsible and just grab a glass of wine and let the kids figure it out themselves!lol Glad that you’re back blogging and kudos to the friend that pointed out that it’s been way too long and some of us are waiting!
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Thank you so much for your comment. I was afraid to share what’s going on in my life, but hey this is me and this is my story. I definitely understand just wanting to be 100% irresponsible!! Spending all your money on yourself, going out and not coming home for a few days, or just relaxing with a glass of wine and food, but than reality kicks in and you remember your kids need lunch and bills are due and all of those thoughts become dreams lol thanks so much for the support!
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I have so much respect for your honesty in this post! Im so sorry that your son is having trouble with the transition that is happening in your life. It can be so tough on kids, but from my experience (working in the mental health field), kids are incredibly resilient! I think taking him to see someone is the best thing you could do and the constant reminder that both of his parents love him unconditionally will eventually sink in! You are a wonderful mother and I am praying for smoother days in the near future for you and your family! Xoxo
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Thank you so much Brittany, I appreciate you so much! It is very hard, and most of the time I feel discouraged but I have faith that things will be better soon. Everyone says kids are resilient and I try to keep that in mind and stay positive.
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I can’t imagine how hard it must be to keep pushing forward some days, but you are doing an incredible job! And kids really are resilient; with the proper attention and care they can overcome things that are beyond our comprehension. The transition is always tough; they start acting out and improvement seems impossible; but after time passes, the shock wears off and he sees that both of his parents still love and care for him, things turn themselves around! Keep your head up, you’re crushing it! *hugs*
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Thanks so much!! This really makes me look forward to the better days that I know are coming.
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I love your writing voice. This is such a open and honest post. My parents had a pretty b marriage. They are still married. It has mellowed, but my mom is a changed woman. Not as confident as before.
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Thank you so much. It’s sad but so common for us as women to lose confidence in marriages and motherhood. I am on the road to gaining mines back.
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I can identify as I have three children affected by my divorce from my ex. They were 10, 8, and 6 when we separated. They are now 14, 12, and 10. Some things have gotten better and some things worse. The challenge for me is that I’m now dealing with a teenager, and I live 4 hours away from my kids. We make the most of it, and it’s a lot better than it could be. I have recommended counseling, but not everyone involved agrees that it is needed. I feel the struggle and have walked it since December 2013. I hope that all of us in similar situations can be of support to each other.
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I’m sorry to hear that..I’m sure it’s very hard living so far from your children. I will say that I really like therapy. It’s not just for my son but his father and me too. The therapist gives us different ways to deal with the situation as a whole. My kids dad didn’t want therapy either but honestly it has helped so much. We still aren’t where we need to be with my son but I get excited that there’s little progression..something is better than nothing. Good luck with everything Matthew!!! Thanks so much for sharing and being open.
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I don’t have any personal experience with divorce but I would guess that reminding them that you love them is step number 1, and step number two is just being open and honest with them. They can understand more than we give them credit for. Good luck. (And thank you for following my book blog earlier.)
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Thank you so much…I love your blog!
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So glad to meet you, My Dear! This was a really great post! It is hard on kids when parents get divorced but it is part of life. You are Right On Girl about it being better to be divorced if parents are fighting and not happy. Despite what you may believe or what others tell you, the kids know and it affects them. Better to be Over than to live in a troubled home!
I was fortunate that my girls understood but still emotionally affected. If you ask them, most kids will say that they would rather have you happy alone than unhappy with their Dad. Keep reading books and online posts on this subject. There is wisdom in the words and experiences of others.
Thanks so much for following my blog!!
Chuck
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i think it would be helpful for him to know, that both parents will be there for him always. i do think it would be helpful if you two could remain friends and be together at important moments of his life, like christmas, birthdays, etc.
also, you can explain that you and his father are happier as friends (or apart from each other), than together. and that you can be better parents that way. that way, he doesn’t need to listen you two argue every day.
i’m very sad to know that he is depressed and need to take medication. have you tried other methods? try to take a walk with him around nature, at a park or something. talk to him and listen to what he has to say, to his emotions, and make him feel understood. invite him to do exercise, anything he likes. and to get sunlight. include nuts, oranges, and lots of dark green veggies on his meals. encourage him to do art projects, it will let him express himself and release is dark emotions while also directing them to something meaningful.
and don’t never ever make him feel like something is wrong with him. always tell him it’s natural to feel this way. maybe opening up to your son will help too, as he will see things aren’t easy for you too. he will have someone to relate to, someone to be closer.
i know you’re doing your best already, but i hope these tips will help you. sometimes we just need a different perspective.
sending you lots of love to your family. ❤
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Thank you so much for the great tips! His father and I are trying to build a friendship and we definitely make sure we are both around for special occasions. We try to show the kids that we are still a family even though we no longer live together. The medication was a choice I made to help him get through those hard days at school. I am going to definitely try some of your suggestions. I also bought him a journal that he writes in when he’s feeling a little down, that helps
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journaling is wonderful, it helped me a lot as a kid and teenager. 🙂
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Beautiful written I really enjoyed reading this post I look forward to reading more of your witty writing ! What a raw exposed truth of a post love it
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Awe thank you sooooo much!!!!
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